Like a Shag on a Rock
by jamie2109
Summary: Despite traveling all the way across the world, sometimes you just cannot escape your past.


Disclaimer: Not Mine

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Authors Notes: So much fun writing this one.

enjoy

jamie

xxx

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**An explanation of all Australian slang used is at the end of the story. **

"I don't see why they can't handle it themselves." Draco sat slumped in his seat, arms crossed and a scowl on his face as dark as Harry had ever seen.

Harry shrugged. He was actually looking forward to this trip. He'd never even been out of the country, let alone all the way to Australia. Just as he was about to echo Draco's question, Hermione cut him off.

"Because Harry is the only person alive that has ever killed a Basilisk. He has to go. No one else is prepared to even look for the thing. You, as his partner, are going with him and that's all there is to it." The look she gave Draco dared him to argue with her – which he didn't. He might be, rather definitely was, an arrogant arse most of the time, but he was not stupid. He hung his head; scowl still plastered on his face. "Besides," Hermione continued. "Your Animagus form will help Harry. You have the ability to be able to smell it, long before Harry could get caught looking at it."

"Oh, great. Rub it in why don't you?" Draco grouched.

"What proof do they have that it's a Basilisk?" Harry asked, ignoring Draco's bad mood.

"There have been several deaths from overdoses of a new drug called, appropriately enough, _Venom_. The Australian Wizarding community became suspicious when an Auror stationed in a small town realised that all the victims had been through the farm stay project in his area."

"What's farm stay?"

"Tourists stay on the farm and work alongside the farmer basically for experience rather than money. It makes it a cheap holiday for backpackers."

"All right," Harry replied, nodding. "So, this Auror did some tests on the drug?"

"No, he passed it on to the MLE in Brisbane and they tested it. There was Basilisk venom in the drug. I've organised for the two of you to meet with Adam Jones, the Auror who first suspected the Basilisk. He's the regional Auror for an area the size of England but the population of Hogwarts. He thinks that the drug came from somewhere under his control. Naturally, he's keen to find the culprit as he's also the local policeman." She looked at Draco as if she expected him to ask a question, but he was still looking down. After several moments when nothing was said he looked up.

"What? I do know what a policeman is, you know. I am not a complete moron. I _passed_ Muggle studies, unlike the Red Terror." The Red Terror, of course, was Ron. Draco's tone was snippy and bad tempered and Harry put a hand to his temple and closed his eyes.

Going to Australia with Draco was bound to be a nightmare.

.o0o.

Travelling by international Floo was just as bad, if not worse, than normal Floo travel. There was no soot involved, however there was still the rushing experience of flying past an untold number of fireplaces en route to the Brisbane Ministry of Magic. For Harry, falling out of the fireplace was not an unusual occurrence, though this time strong arms pulled him to his feet.

"Thanks," he said as he righted his glasses and looked at his rescuer. "Adam Jones, I presume," he said, smiling and holding out his hand. The man appeared to be in his mid twenties, with sun wrinkled tanned skin, a rough mustache and dark hair that was long enough to curl around his collar. Harry thought he looked nice enough and the smile lines around his blue eyes creased pleasantly.

"G'day. Call me Jonesy. You'd be Potter, I assume from the scar," Adam said, giving Harry's scar a glance and shaking his outstretched hand.

"I am," Harry replied just as Draco stepped out of the Floo looking like he'd only traveled from the next room. Bloody git. How did he always do that?

Jonsey stepped back and took a long look at Draco who was dressed in casual Muggle dress; denim jeans that rode low on his hips, a skintight top that left two inches of bare skin across his hips, perfect hair, sunglasses perched on his head and several shrunken bags of luggage.

"The boys in Dunnidoon are gunna love you," he muttered quietly, but loudly enough for Harry to hear, before stepping forward and introducing himself.

Minutes later they'd traveled by domestic Floo to Jonsey's office in Bandurah, an hour's drive from Dunnidoon where they'd be stationed.

"Isn't there any other way to get there other than in this contraption? Draco asked. The scowl that had planted itself on Draco's face when he'd heard they were coming to Australia, now seemed like a permanent expression. Harry was rather disappointed; Draco looked much nicer when he smiled.

The contraption in question was an early model Land Rover, which looked like it had seen better days.

"Nothing wrong with Lady Penny," Jonsey said. "She's just covered with dust. Something you'll have to get used to while you're out here."

"Looks like the dust is the only thing holding it together," Draco said and Harry had to laugh at the frown on his face and the way he was looking down his nose at the car, almost like it was going to snub him back or something.

"One thing you Poms had better learn while you're down here is not to look down your nose," Jonsey stated as he tossed their luggage in the back. "The bushies round here don't take too kindly to being looked down on. They're a rough lot, but decent blokes."

Harry grabbed Draco by the elbow and shoved him towards the car. They all had to sit in the front seat as the rear was taken up with several large cages. "Come on, Draco, don't make our job any harder than it has to be."

Draco just gave him a glare and climbed into the car, fastidiously brushing dust off himself when he was settled.

"Sorry about the cages in the back. Some yobbo decided to illegally bait traps for foxes out the back of Thargomindah and yours truly has to go collect them after I drop you off."

Draco opened his mouth, but Harry clamped his hand down on Draco's thigh and he shut it again, though not without a hiss of annoyance.

"How far is this place we're staying?" Harry asked as they left the police station and drove down the road out of town.

"'Bout an hour's drive. You blokes are lucky you weren't here last week when the cattle drive was on. Couldn't get out to Dunnidoon for three days while they were passing through. And then the smell…ever smelt 20,000 head of cattle? First time I did, was about 5 years ago, when I was new. 'Bout puked me guts up for an hour, I reckon."

"Quite," Draco muttered faintly.

"What more can you tell us about the case, Jonesy?" Harry asked, thinking it might be easier to stick to why they were here.

"Well, most of the victims are young, as you know. Hang on –" Jonsey swerved violently to the right, throwing the car around a corner and onto a bumpy dirt track. It also threw Draco who had nothing to hang on to, into Harry's lap. When Draco had stopped shrieking and righted himself and the car was continuing to hit every bump in the road, rattling Harry's teeth in his head, Jonesy continued. "They stayed with some of the landowners. The only thing that connects any of the victims is that they were all in this district a short time before they died."

"So, you think they all purchased this drug from someone in this area. Any ideas on who?" Draco asked, having regained his composure, although he was hanging on to Harry's arm now to steady him over each bump in the road.

"There's a couple of blokes who live on big properties out the back of town, who've been acting a little strange. Stan Ladner and his family have been in this area since the land was first settled and I dunno if he could lie straight in bed, let alone come up with a decent cover story for where his extra money came from. He reckons it's from an old maiden aunt who died and left it to him and I'm waiting on confirmation of that. It's been hard investigating it and not letting on that anyone's being checked up on."

"I can understand that," Harry agreed. "What about the other bloke?"

"Well, he's a bit different. Lives on his own on about five hundred acres. Been here for maybe ten years, according to the locals. They don't like him much, but there's not a lot for company out here, so you're as friendly as you need to be. No point in alienating anyone. They call him 'Chuckles' because he rarely laughs but likes to poke fun at people. His real name is Noel Turner. About twelve months ago, he developed the travel bug. Disappeared and traveled the world according to him. Dunno how he afforded it, he doesn't run enough head to make travel money."

They all hung on as a big hole appeared in the road and the Land Rover drove straight through it.

"We'll need a cover," Harry said, prising Draco's hand free from its death grip on his arm and then letting it sit on his thigh. "We won't want to give away that we're investigating them. Are there any wizards in the area?"

"Not that I know of, but then they're not required to register with me or anyone else, so there could be. If they never used magic, I'd never know. And considering how large this place is, even if they did use magic, odds on I'd still not know."

"Though if _Venom_ is coming from this area and it has Basilisk venom in it, then it would be a pretty safe bet to say there is a wizard around here. Which means we need a good cover story," Draco pointed out.

Jonesy swerved to miss a deep hole in the road and then nodded. "When they first told me they were sending a couple of Aurors, I had hoped we'd be able to use the married couple on a honeymoon cover, but it doesn't look like we're going to be able to." Jonesy said.

"No," Draco said, though his hand on Harry's thigh tightened considerably. Of course that could have been because he saw a kangaroo jump out in front of the Land Rover.

"Stupid fucking roo!" shouted Jonsey as he swerved to avoid it and almost clipped it's tail as it hopped to the other side of the road and disappeared into the bush. "Fucking pests!" He turned and looked at them, grinning. "No worries, we'll think of some story. You'll have to share a room, but. Already booked it before I knew you were both blokes."

.o0o.

When they drove into town some time later, Harry was frazzled from being tossed around inside the car, and Draco looked like he was at the edge of his patience and about to lose his temper, or break down at the slightest provocation. So, to drive into a dusty town, with a main street that consisted of perhaps four buildings that all looked like they belonged in a ghost town, was a little shocking. Harry could only dream of a comfortable seat that didn't move, maybe a bath and a cool drink.

They pulled up outside a two-storey building with a board across the verandah proclaiming the name to be _The Doon Hotel._ Harry climbed out of the Land Rover and stretched his aching legs, sure he'd have bruises on his thigh from where Draco had gripped it.

The silence was unbroken apart from the quiet hum of some sort of machinery, which he hoped was an air conditioner in the Hotel. When he looked around, he realised just how big this land was, as it stretched on for miles and miles, unbroken by anything apart from stumpy trees and the odd fence. And flat. No wonder he could see for miles in each direction; the land was so flat that were it to rain, the water would have no incline to run off. It made him feel rather small.

"Harry?" Draco said from beside him.

"Hmm?"

"I can't feel my arse."

.o0o.

Having assured Draco that his arse would be fine once he started moving around again, they all moved inside, Jonesy talking nineteen to the dozen the whole time.

"There's not much in town, just the pub, the servo and the gen. A bus comes through here once a week and goes to Bandurah, post comes through twice a week as well and food supplies are sent up from Brisbane once a month."

Draco was whispering into Harry's ear, asking what a 'servo and a gen' was, but Harry had no idea either and as they were walking through the door into a room with perhaps a dozen strangers, he thought that wasn't the best time to ask Jonesy.

What it did mean, though, was that the first glimpse the locals had of Harry and Draco was Draco holding Harry's wrist and whispering in his ear.

"These the lovebirds you booked the room for, Jonsey?" came a loud, shrill, though not unfriendly voice from behind the bar. It belonged to an overly large female of indiscriminate age. She had bottle-bleached hair – even Harry could tell that – brown skin like she'd been on holiday in the tropics and spent all day, every day lying in the sun, and wore an extremely colourful dress that was so tight under the armpits that Harry wondered if her arms were deformed.

Harry, on impulse, turned his hand to grip Draco's and gave her a smile. Seeing as the cover was already known, they'd have to make do with it. He ignored Draco's attempts to pull his hand away and the faint hissing noises he could hear from his blond partner. Jonesy gave them an odd look, but saw their joined hands and smirked a little.

"Your funeral mate. Dunno as I'd wanna be tied to Princess here all me life," Jonesy said, before turning to answer the question. "Sure is, Carm. This 'ere's Harry and Draco. Boys, this is Carmel. She runs the Doon and you be nice to 'er an' she'll do right by youse."

Harry noticed that Jonesy's accent altered when he was in the company of these people. Good way to fit in. Draco was looking horrified at Jonsey and Harry had to laugh and squeeze his hand. When Draco turned back to him there was real anxiety in his eyes and Harry felt bad. He was just about to lean in and whisper something reassuring when it dawned on him that there was silence in the pub and maybe he was expected to say something instead of looking dopily at his partner. He gave Draco's hand one last squeeze and then moved forwards to shake Carmel's hand.

"Nice to meet you, Carmel," he said and there were several snickers from the patrons in the bar. He ignored them and smiled at Carmel.

"And aren't you the charming one, then, ducks?" Carmel replied, ducking her head and giving him a broad smile. "Pull up a pew and blow the froth off a couple."

Harry looked blank for a moment as he tried to work out what she'd said. He gathered that he was meant to sit on one of the stools, so he did just that, turning to Draco and indicating he do the same. Draco still had an anxious look in his eyes, so Harry took his hand and held onto it. For the cover. Of course.

Jonesy sat the other side of Harry and immediately turned and began chatting to some of the other locals, leaving Harry and Draco to the tender mercies of Carmel.

"What'll it be boys?" she asked. "Driving up here on that road you must be drier than a dead dingo's donger."

Harry could feel Draco tensing beside him, and he squeezed Draco's hand again. This was going to be an interesting case if he couldn't even understand half of what the locals were saying – yet they were speaking English.

He shrugged and Carmel took pity on him. "You'll be needing a drink," she said and Harry could feel the tension flowing out of Draco, now.

"Just a beer for me," Harry replied, grinning.

"I'll have a white wine spritzer please."

There was complete silence for a moment and Harry looked around at the people in the bar. Then Carmel laughed. "Oh, it's a ladies drink for the Princess, is it?"

Draco flushed deeply. "I am not a lady, I just prefer white wine to that dreadful—" Harry elbowed him in the ribs, "—er I just prefer it to beer, thank you," he finished weakly, shoulders slumped.

When Carmel lumbered off to get their drinks, Harry put his arm around Draco's shoulders and leant in close to whisper in his ear. "Don't worry about it, I have no idea what she's talking about, either."

"I feel like such an idiot, Harry," Draco protested. "And I don't fancy playing your 'wife' for the duration of this investigation, either."

"Well it's not like we have much choice," Harry whispered urgently back. "Look, just be nice to them and we'll have a drink and then go and get settled into our rooms, all right?"

Draco nodded as their drinks were placed on coasters before them. Harry went to get his wallet to pay, but Carmel waved him aside. "Don't worry, ducks, we'll run a tab and you can settle up when you leave."

Unfortunately, things didn't quite work out the way Harry hoped. Over the next three hours they were introduced to every man in the pub. Harry couldn't hope to remember all their names, especially seeing as they seemed to consist of nicknames that sounded frighteningly similar, like Stringy and Rope and Cabbage and Sprout who were all brothers apparently. Harry didn't even ask why they all had such weird nicknames. He'd made that mistake with Bluey and was given some garbled tale about how he had red hair once when he was younger, before it all fell out during the drought of '73.

Seeing as they were being monopolised by the locals, they decided to eat dinner in the bar with them. Carmel, they discovered, was a bloody legend, a phrase Harry picked up from Stan Ladner, with whom he actively attempted to keep the conversation flowing. Carmel could cook really well and even fussy Draco couldn't find any fault with the perfection that was their steaks.

Meeting Stan in the pub was fortuitous, as Harry arranged for them to go and visit the property the next day. At some point Draco could wander off and transform into his Animagus and attempt to sniff out the Basilisk. But, seeing as Stan Ladner appeared to be one of the most open, gregarious blokes around, Harry doubted that he was their wizard-cum-drug producer. Still, he could be wrong.

Noel Turner, or Chuckles as they all called him, was a different case. His property wasn't as large and didn't carry any remarkable stock or interesting landmarks, so they could think of no decent excuse for wanting to go out and have a look at it. Their cover of being 'on their honeymoon' would only really hold up for seeing the largest cattle farm in the district. They'd have to find another way out to the Turner place. Besides, Noel Turner wasn't all that likeable, just as Jonesy had said. Both of them found it hard to even find anything to say to him, although, he had joked that Draco 'stuck out like a sore thumb' and maybe he should 'frock up'. Neither of them knew what that meant and so they laughed politely and turned to something else.

By the time the pub was closing up for the night, the locals had consumed way more than a few beers and many of them were leaning into each other, singing extremely off key songs, some of which made Harry blush. Harry had tried to refrain from drinking too much, but Draco, stung by them laughing at him and needing a drink or two to calm him down, had proceeded to get merrily sloshed. With his cheeks tinged pink from the alcohol and his fussy choices of drink, he really only succeeded in earning the name Princess. Everyone had taken to calling him that now and he was going to get stuck with it.

"Come on boys, I'll show you to your room," Carmel called to them. "I put you way out the back. Figured the honeymooning couple would want some privacy."

Harry just looked at her, having almost forgotten that he and Draco were supposed to be honeymooning. Chuckles, who was suffering under the delusion that the more he drank the funnier he was, snorted. "Lucky. Bet you don't wanna hear no poofters making a racket. You did good, Carm, sticking them out there like shags on rocks."

Draco shot Harry a horrified glance and, amid lots of good natured laughter and reminders for Princess to 'lie back and think of England', they made their way unsteadily from the pub down a broken pathway to a row of shabby cabins.

Draco was hanging on to Harry's arm and while Carmel walked on in front of them he leant into Harry's ear and whispered. "There are rocks in there? They expect us to shag on rocks?"

.o0o.

"Harry, I can't sleep in here," Draco whined for the tenth time. Harry wished that Draco'd had just that few extra drinks that would have been enough to make him pass out and there'd be silence for a change. First it had been the heat and how the cabin wasn't air-conditioned. Then it had been there was only one bed and he was damned if he was going to ruin his back on the floor. Then it had been the sheets were scratchy and several other minor problems and now Harry was at his wits end. He knew most of it was that Draco felt uncomfortable in this environment; he was so totally out of his element that he was unsettled, but still, enough was enough.

"What's the matter now?"

"They made fun of me tonight, didn't they?" he asked, the drink having worn off to the extent that he was beginning to think clearly, Harry could see. "It wasn't them being nice, they were making fun of me. To be mean."

Harry sighed from his spot on the floor. "Well, you did give them a lot of ammunition. Jonesy said they were a rough bunch and, well, you're not. Maybe they just don't like anyone different. They were ribbing me about my accent all night, too."

"They didn't give you a girlie nickname, though," Draco said and Harry could hear the sadness in his voice. He sighed again.

"Don't worry about it. We'll solve the case and then we can go home and you never have to see them again."

"But, I'm likeable, aren't I?" Draco asked. Right, well it looked like not all the alcohol had worn off, then. "I mean, I'm bloody great to look at, I have people virtually drooling over me wherever I go at home. Why are these bloody colonials giving me a hard time?"

"I don't know, Draco," Harry said, sighing.

There was silence for a while, then.

"Harry?"

"Yes?"

"There's enough room in this bed for both of us."

"You want me to sleep with you?"

"Not _sleep_ with me, just sleep in the same bed."

"Why?"

"Well, if you don't want to…"

Harry jumped up and climbed into the bed beside Draco. "I didn't say that, I just wondered what had made you change your mind."

"Just felt the need for something warm and solid beside me. 'M feeling a bit lost out here in a place where I don't know anyone but you and no one knows, or even likes, me."

Harry reached out and rubbed Draco's shoulder. "You'll be all right. I don't think they meant to be cruel."

"I don't care, they hurt my feelings." Draco shifted and rolled to face away from Harry. "Stay on your side of the bed and you'd better not snore," he said stiffly, before relaxing and eventually falling asleep.

.o0o.

Morning brought with it numerous squawking birds letting them know it was time to get up right at the crack of dawn. This of course made Draco grumble and wave at the windows as if trying to shoo the birds away. It was funny until he woke up enough to find that he'd snuggled against Harry in the night and was half wrapped around him.

Then he thumped Harry's chest before rolling over and pulling the covers up over his head. "Thought I told you to stay on your own side," he grumbled.

"I wasn't the one wrapped around you, Draco," Harry replied, amused. He didn't actually mind Draco snuggling up to him. For all he was an annoyance and often a right pain in the arse, he did look nice and underneath he thought there must be a nice person somewhere.

"Details," Draco grumped, still covered by the bedclothes, hiding from the sun.

"Well, come on, Princess, time to get up and get on the move. The quicker we solve this case, the quicker we can get back home and you don't have to put up with me in your bed."

Which was a complete shame. Harry could get used to that lovely warm, lithe body curled up next to him at night.

A pillow hit Harry right on the nose and he squeaked in surprise.

"Don't you call me Princess, too," Draco said. "We have to work together and I demand some respect."

Harry sighed and wondered if Draco even had a sense of humour. "Lighten up, Draco," he said. "We should work on a plan for when we're at the Ladner property today." Maybe a change in the subject might make Draco wake up and at least find his professionalism.

It worked. Partially. Draco sat up; which was a start, Harry figured. He fixed Harry with a glare that could freeze balls off. Luckily Harry was used to it - not having his balls frozen off, Draco's looks. He thought he was immune to them by now.

"When we get out there, I'll think of some excuse to go off on my own and then I'll change and do my thing while you keep him busy asking about…things," Draco said.

Half an hour later, they followed their noses and found a shabby dining room next to the bar, where it was obvious breakfast was being served. Regardless of how Draco complained about their accommodations, there was little to complain about in the breakfast they were served up. The mounds of bacon and eggs, along with hot toast and cold, fresh orange juice made Harry's mouth water. He did wonder where they might have obtained the fresh orange juice but he was too interested in tucking in to the delicious food to ask.

Carmel sat down with them, her bulk oozing over the sides of the chair. The coffee in her hands smelled like it was freshly brewed and Harry's insides shivered. Draco positively purred – his addiction to coffee was legendary in the office, having been known to hex a person if they went and made coffee without making him one as well. He was also known to lock himself in his office for hours on end in a complete snit if he'd had to come to work without his morning fix – or four.

"You boys heading out to Stan's today?" she asked. "You'll want to watch his daughter. She's a couple of sheep short in the top paddock, she is. Been out there on that property too long and it's done her head in. Stan's been trying to get her married off, but I dunno how he'll manage that."

"What's wrong with her?" Draco asked what they both wanted to know but Harry's mouth was full of bacon, while Draco was ogling Carmel's coffee avariciously and sniffing the air to collect even the suggestion of the smell of caffeine.

"Nothing really that a good root wouldn't cure." Carmel gave a great big belly laugh at their looks of complete confusion.

"Should I even ask what a 'root' is?" Draco ventured.

"You can probably guess, Princess," Carmel replied, winking at him.

"If I guess right, can I get some of that coffee?" Draco asked and Harry could see a hint of desperation in his eyes.

Carmel gave him a look and then flashed a smile at him. "Be my guest," she said. She lifted her cup and waved it under Draco's nose, teasing. Draco closed his eyes and followed the cup by smell alone.

"Now," Draco said, dreamily turning his head from side to side. "A root implies digging around looking for something, ie: rooting around in the bottom of the drawer for a quill, err…pen. Am I right? So she needs to have a good look for something?" he frowned. "That doesn't make sense." Draco looked crestfallen. And desperate for some coffee. "Or, a root could mean an actual root of a plant or something – used for medicinal purposes?" He looked much brighter, now. "That's it, isn't it? She needs some sort of medication." He looked extremely pleased with himself.

Carmel laughed and shook her head, which made Draco's face fall. He looked so crushed that Harry almost begged Carmel for coffee for Draco himself.

"Thought you Poms preferred tea, anyway. Never had a Pom staying here that drank coffee." She waved across towards the kitchen. "I've got a pot going in there, I'll bring you some and tomorrow I'll set it up so you can help yourself."

"Thank you," Draco said, letting out a huge whoosh of relief.

"No worries, ducks," Carmel said to both of them as she stood. "I'll get it now, because Stan's likely to come roaring in shortly and he won't wanna hang round like a dag hanging off the back of a sheep's arse."

Harry paused with his forkful of bacon almost to his mouth. Whatever it was that Carmel was trying to say sounded suspiciously unsavoury and it should put him off his meal. Then he decided that ignorance was bliss and continued eating. Draco just looked faintly horrified. He really should get out more.

They never did find out what 'root' meant.

Not long after, Stan breezed in, just as Carmel predicted, and dragged them out to his ute, which was in much better condition than Adam's, a fact for which Harry was profoundly grateful. Although he really had liked Draco landing in his lap when they went round corners too fast.

Still, it took them an hour to drive out to Stan's place. The roads were good, which was a relief to Draco, Harry was sure. When he commented on it, Stand just grinned at them and said, "It's not what you know but who."

And indeed the roads were all made all the way out to the Ladner's property. Harry hadn't been paying much attention to the scenery as he'd been trying to listen and concentrate as Stan gave them some history of the place and how many generations had farmed this particular property right back to the initial ancestors of his that had squatted on the land and claimed rights to it a few hundred years ago.

He didn't know what he'd expected; perhaps some quaint farm cottage like in the countryside of England, or an old regal manor type house. He'd certainly not expected a rambling old farmhouse with wide verandahs all the way round and lawns that would rival Ascot. It was certainly beautiful. Even Draco remarked how lovely it looked.

"Yeah, she's a nice old place. Still, just somewhere to rest your head then, eh boys?" Stan responded.

When they climbed out of the car, Draco grabbed Harry's hand. Harry remembered their cover and gripped back. It was a shame this was only a cover, he thought. It felt nice holding Draco's hand. It felt even nicer when Draco moved closer and whispered in his ear, warm breath puffing over his ear. "I could ask to use the toilet, but I wouldn't want to change indoors. How are we going to do this?"

Harry thought about it as he replied to Stan. "It looks like you keep the place up well," Harry said, indicating the lawns.

"Yeah, we've got a bore for water and that helps. I'll show it to you if you like," Stan replied. Harry was fairly sure that he had no interest in seeing a bore, but if it meant that they were away from the farmhouse then maybe…

"Sure," he said, smiling. He turned to Draco and whispered to him. "We'll have to _Obliviate_ him. When we're looking at this bore, you change and take off and I'll look after him."

"All right." Draco nodded and they set off after Stan to meet the family and see the farmhouse.

As plans go, _Obliviating_ Stan was a good one and Harry thanked his lucky stars that he was a wizard, as he wondered how Muggles went about working undercover like this.

The bore was a good few kilometers from the house and as soon as they arrived, Draco went behind the ute and transformed into his Animagus form, leaving Harry to IObliviate/I Stan and sit with the confused man until Draco returned.

_Draco felt thankful that he'd trained long and hard to subdue his natural instincts in this form, else he would end up underground and never come out. The smell of rabbit was overwhelming and his ferret side positively ached to chase…chase, chase, chase… His human side fought the aroma and thoughts of a meal, reminding himself that he had a job to do. He lifted his nose to the air and sniffed, trying to get past the rabbit in his nose, filling his senses, making his mouth water…_

_But there was nothing else of any interest. He could smell Harry – Harry smelled even nicer to this form than he did to his human form. It made Draco want to run up his leg and curl up in his pocket. However, he had a job to do and he was sure Harry wouldn't appreciate him doing that anyway. There was also an unfamiliar aroma he assumed was Stan, because it was human. The other smells, apart from rabbit (he was positively drooling over the thought of rabbit and disgusted with himself at the same time) were all older, stale ones. It didn't appear that there had been many animals out here at all. The dry, parched land might have something to do with it, he thought._

_He set off back towards a building he'd seen as they drove up, thinking that if any work had been done there on the potion then he might have a chance of picking up some lead. As he scurried along – he was always so disdainful of the fact that he'd turned out to be a ferret Animagus and /Iscurried, Iinstead of something cool like an eagle that could fly or a wolf that ran like the wind or something – he kept his nose to the ground, occasionally stopping to raise it and sniff the air._

_But there was no danger here, all his senses told him. He reached the building without incident and checked around the perimeter, all without smelling anything that might be connected to their Basilisk, or anything suspicious at all. He knew eventually, they might have to hire some sort of machine to look at the whole property from the air, as he wouldn't be able to cover the whole thing on his own but, for now, there didn't seem to be anything of interest for him._

_He spent the next few hours searching the surrounds as far as he could go, changing back and Apparating back to the building (which had turned out to be storage for bales of hay), and then changing back into his Animagus and setting off in a different direction._

_All for nothing. After hours of searching and finding nothing and having the smell of rabbit beginning to dominate his senses no matter how hard he tried to stop it, Draco gave up and Apparated back to where Harry and a very confused Stan were waiting. _

Harry was telling Stan something about football and Stan was blinking and trying to tell Harry that real football was Aussie rules football not that stuff with the pansy round ball.

Draco just rolled his eyes and smiled at Harry, moving towards him and leaning up against him while he whispered in his ear. "Nothing. Except… you smell rather nicer when I'm a ferret."

"Well, that settles that, then doesn't it?" Harry replied, really finding the idea of a Draco draped over him like this a very pleasant idea at that.

"We might have to get a…what do the Muggles call those things that fly?"

"A…helicopter?"

"That's it!" Draco exclaimed. "I can't cover the whole property on my own."

"We can talk to Jonesy and see if he can find one for us," Harry agreed. He looked at Stan who was still looking at them a little confused. "Come on, Stan, let's go back to the house. I'd love a nice cool drink. What do you say?"

"All right," Stan replied, brightening.

"Poor thing," Draco whispered as they were driving back. "They always make me feel really sorry for them when they're confused for a few hours afterwards."

"Had to be done," Harry said, regretfully. Truly, he didn't like using it, either.

As they pulled around to the back of the house, Harry spotted a chicken shed away in the distance and he could see several chickens scratching around in the dirt. He got out of the car and stood staring at it for a while and then sighed in frustration as the faint but distinct sound of a rooster could be heard.

"Well, pity we didn't see this earlier, we could have saved ourselves a lot of bother," Harry said quietly to Draco.

"What?" Draco asked as he exited the car. Harry pointed.

"The rooster's crow is fatal to a Basilisk," he said.

.o0o.

By the time they arrived back at the hotel, Draco was fractious and tired and Harry was about to pull his hair out listening to him. Carmel poured them both cool drinks and it was a testament to how tired Draco was that he barely argued that he was expected to drink beer, just accepted the drink and let Harry watch the cute way his throat worked as he swallowed the cold frothy drink.

"Stop staring, Harry, you're making me nervous."

"I have to for the cover," Harry insisted. Not that it was true; he could easily not stare.

Draco merely gave him a knowing smirk. "It's gone beyond the job, and you know it," he said.

"No idea what you're talking about," Harry replied, grinning.

Draco waved his hand. "Fine. Whatever. But you can stop drooling, it's most unbecoming."

Carmel walked over with another couple of cold beers. "Oh, bite your bum, Princess. Does an old dear good to see you young ones all hot and bothered over each other." Her bright eyes laughed at Draco when he roused himself to look shocked at being told to bite his bum. He opened his mouth to complain, but she stopped him. "No need to get shirty with me. Now, here, blow the froth off these." She placed the fresh beers on the table. "While I remember, Chuckles was in here earlier looking for you two blokes. He had to shoot through, but he'll be back later on."

"Did he say what he wanted," Harry asked. Carmel shook her head.

"Dunno, ducks, seemed a bit toey, but."

"All right, we'll be here when he gets back," Harry said, shrugging.

"Right you are, then. Well, this fart-arsing around isn't going to get my work done. See you boys at dinner, then. Lots of the regulars will be in by then. You'll stay?"

Harry nodded. "If I can keep my hands off this one long enough." He grinned and gave Draco a lascivious wink. Draco replied with a sickly, simpering smile of his own.

As she walked away, Harry leant closer to Draco, who'd seemed to have overcome his tiredness. "Wonder why he was looking for us. Do you think he might have seen through the cover?"

"It's a possibility," Draco nodded, the breath of his words close to Harry's ear and sending small shivers along his spine.

"We'll just take it as it comes, I guess."

Just then Chuckles walked into the bar and he smiled at seeing Harry and Draco there. Harry noticed that his cold blue eyes didn't smile, though, but he put it down to the man being a generally arrogant sort. "Keep on his good side, we need to get out to have a look at his place," Harry whispered into Draco's ear, before turning back to smile at Chuckles.

"G'day, boys," Chuckles said as he dragged a chair out from the table and dropped his oversized body onto it.

"Hello, Chuckles," Draco replied warily, though he did put a smile on his face. And Harry could have stood on the table and danced naked for all the attention Chuckles paid him. His eyes were firmly on Draco. He decided that he'd let Draco do the talking and see if they could organise getting out to see his property.

"Carmel said you'd been looking for us," Draco said.

Chuckles nodded. "Just thought you might want to come and see me property."

Carmel yelled out from the bar. "Harry, ducks, phone for you."

Harry jumped up and headed towards her. "Phone's out the back," she said, indicating the direction with her head.

Harry hurried out to the phone to find it was Jonesy. "I'll be coming out this afternoon. I've found some more information I think you both should have."

"You can't tell me on the phone?"

"No, I need to come out there."

"All right, we'll be waiting," Harry replied and hung up.

When he returned to the bar, Draco and Chuckles were gone. Carmel called out to him. "Princess said he was going out to Chuckles' place and he'd be back for dinner, ducks."

"All right," Harry replied, sighing. He'd just have to meet Jonesy by himself. He sighed and pulled up a stool at the bar. "May as well pour me a beer, thanks Carmel."

An hour later, Harry was feeling the effects of a few beers and the almost constant fits of laughter that Carmel was inducing in him, telling him stories about how Rope and Stringy got given their names - apparently String isn't as thick as Rope – and relating the story of how one night Stan dropped his guts in the pub and cleared it within seconds. Harry had no idea what she was talking about, until she told him that Stan had been on muster and been living on beans for a week. "Best way to clear a pub full of malingerers at closing time." She roared in laughter, and Harry joined her. "Still stunk the next day. And the dunny budgies just swarmed, trying to get in. Never been so glad to have paid for the screens on the windows."

Harry had no idea what 'dunny budgies' were, but he assumed that they were something that needed to be kept out of the pub and so he laughed along with Carmel. She was a good sort, really.

Jonesy arrived then, and sat down beside Harry, clapping him on the shoulder. "G'day. Where's Princess, then?"

"Jonesy, hi," Harry replied, grinning. "Chuckles took him out to see his place."

The hand on Harry's shoulder tightened perceptibly. "Err…Harry? Could I speak to you outside for a moment, please?"

"Sure," Harry replied, alarm running through him, suddenly.

Jonesy grabbed him by the elbow and virtually dragged him outside. "Draco has gone to Chuckles' on his own?" he asked, worry deep in his eyes.

"Yes. What's wrong?"

"I was doing routine background checks on everyone who lives around these parts, in the Muggle registry. They have no record of a Noel Turner. None."

"What does that mean?" Harry was beginning to get worried now. He knew Draco could take care of himself, but he still didn't like to think of him off alone in a strange place with no support. As irritable as the blond was, he was still incredibly important to Harry and he was not going to let anything happen to him. Not if he could help it.

"My initial reaction was to put two and two together. The Basilisk venom and someone the Muggles have no record of… could have been a coincidence, but it wasn't. Just heard back from your Ministry this morning. Noel Turner is a wizard. Born in England 45 years ago and moved out here when he was a child. His only known living relatives are still living in England, by the name of Crabbe.

Harry jerked back and paled, even as he was staring into Jonesy's eyes.

"Harry? What is it? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"We have to get out there right now," Harry said, panic making his voice shake. "Vincent Crabbe was a friend of Draco's back in school. He died in the final battle at Hogwarts. Draco was with him…they…he…" Harry stopped. "Can we Apparate out there? Now? Chuckles will blame Draco for Crabbe's death. This might all have been a set up to lure Draco out here."

Jonesy grabbed Harry again and they ran to the back of the building, making sure that no one was watching. "I'll take you Side-Along," Jonesy said.

Harry felt the familiar uncomfortable squeezing and when he opened his eyes they were in a copse of small stumpy trees overlooking a barren yard. Harry drew his wand and cast detection spells. "There are Apparition wards around that barn there," he said, pointing to the rundown wooden building to their left. "I can't detect anything else strong enough to be of any worry. I bet Draco is in that barn. Come on," he said urgently and stepped out from behind the trees.

Jonesy grabbed his arm "Wait. You need to tell me why you think this was all set up to lure him out here. Why would he think the Ministry would send you two here?"

"I am the only one alive that's fought and killed a Basilisk, and Draco, who is my partner has a ferret Animagus form that would have been able to smell the Basilisk, had there been one. I'm willing to bet that there isn't one and that Noel Turner has been searching the globe and buying up all the stocks of Basilisk venom he's been able to find."

Jonesy nodded. "Makes sense seeing he's been traveling. We can check that when we get back. You'd be safer with a _Disillusionment Charm._ He might be watching for you," he pointed out and Harry kicked himself mentally. He'd been so worried about Draco that his training had been forgotten. He knew better than that, alien environment notwithstanding.

"I doubt it," Harry said, though he cast the charm over both of them. "Draco is the one he would have wanted, not me. I barely knew Crabbe."

"Even so," Jonesy countered. Harry was glad he was here; he seemed to be a steady man in a crisis, dependable and competent. "Better to be safe than sorry."

"I know. Let's get closer to that window and see if we can see anything through it."

Jonesy nodded and they crept quietly and quickly to the window, expecting at any second to have some alarms ringing out, but there were none, and they approached the grubby window undiscovered.

When Harry peered in he could see a big, almost empty, room, with tables set up at one end, the cauldrons on it bubbling away. Chuckles was standing near the tables pouring something blue into a cup.

And Draco was tied to a chair in the middle of the room, struggling to free his arms.

Harry's heart went into his mouth. Sure, he'd had fantasies of tying Draco up – every time he put on the drama queen act and complained about something, Harry wanted to gag him and tie him up – but this looked positively mouth watering. And if Draco hadn't been in a life-threatening situation, Harry might have taken advantage of the fact that a very vulnerable and helpless Draco Malfoy, pink-faced and tied to a chair struggling to get free, was an extremely provocative sight.

As it was… Harry cast a listening spell and hoped it wouldn't set off any wards Chuckles might have set up. He half expected there not to be any wards; Chuckles had his man, now and he didn't expect any interference because, as far as he knew, no one suspected him of anything.

"Such a shame that young people today can't stay away from the drugs. You'll be just one more statistic. A druggie. Good for nothing druggie. No one will miss you." Chuckles seemed to have lost his strong Australian accent.

Draco struggled some more, but the gag in his mouth prevented Harry from hearing the words. He looked annoyed though. Harry wished there was a way to let Draco know that he was there. Jonesy whispered in his ear. "What are we waiting for?"

"Two things," Harry whispered back. "Firstly, I can see Draco is all right for the moment. He's pissed off as hell but he's not injured or anything, so I want to see if Chuckles will convict himself out of his own mouth. I know we have enough evidence to convict him of kidnapping and attempted murder, but I want him convicted on the other murders as well. For the families. Secondly, I want to make sure there are no traps before we charge in there."

Jonesy nodded. "I'll make my way around the other side and look in the other window. When I see you make your move I'll join you."

"Right. I'll go for Chuckles and you release Draco."

"Good oh," Jonesy said and went.

Chuckles had moved closer and removed Draco's gag, which enabled him to let lose with a stream of invective. But Chuckles was ready for that and withdrew his wand, casting a silencing charm over him.

"The others weren't anywhere near as much trouble as you are. But then their deaths won't be half as satisfying as yours, so I suspect that might even it out a bit. Now, you're going to have to take this potion, you realise. And it will go much easier if you don't give me any trouble."

Chuckles had the cup of the potion in his hand and was close enough to Draco that the blond had begun to try and back away in his chair as if to move out of reach. Right, that's it, Harry decided. There would have to be enough evidence now. If not, then, too bad, Draco was in danger.

Harry stepped back and aimed a blasting hex at the wall. It exploded in bits of wood, splintering and leaving a gaping hole big enough for Harry to climb through. Relieved, he heard an answering hex from the other side of the room. Jonesy would get Draco.

Chuckles, who had jumped at the sound of the hex, made an effort to scrabble for his wand, but found himself hampered by the cup of potion he was holding. He dropped it and his wand appeared in his hand. As Harry raised his wand to cast, so did Chuckles, but Draco obviously had other ideas and launched himself as best he could, knocking Chuckles' wand hand and skewing his aim.

Harry cast, _"Stupefy!"_ and watched Chuckles drop face first to the ground. He raced over as Jonesy was freeing Draco from his bindings. Harry kicked Chuckles to make sure that he was unable to move and turned in time to catch Draco as he flung himself into Harry's arms.

Shocked, he wrapped a trembling Draco up in a hug.

"I thought you'd never get here."

"It's all right. I'll have to save your life more often if it gets me an armful of delicious blond," Harry said, trying to lighten the atmosphere. There were massive threads of relief running through him, making him feel slightly giddy.

Draco pulled back a bit, scowling and trying to compose himself. He thanked Jonesy, then turned to Harry. "How did you know to come out here after me?"

"Well, that was Jonesy. Information came back on his research that Chuckles was a wizard who was related to Vince. That was all I needed to know to realise that all this had been set up. I'm just glad we were in time."

Draco nodded. "There never was a Basilisk; he said he'd been searching for stocks of venom for years now and had finally found some in Africa recently." He shuddered. "All those people died because he wanted revenge on me for Vince. I wasn't responsible for Vince's death. Was I?"

Draco looked into Harry's eyes, doubt clouding them.

"Of course not," Harry said, reaching out and stroking Draco's arm. "Vince made his own choices that day and they led him to his death. Not you."

Draco bit his lip, still doubting. "But…"

"No buts." Harry drew Draco back into his arms. "It's all over now." He felt Draco relax against his shoulder, arms sliding around his waist tentatively, so he stood there and held him.

Jonesy coughed softly from beside him. "I'll be taking Chuckles back to the station but we'll let the Muggle Liaison Office work this one out. I'd be happy just to send him off to Sorrento, but they might decide they want to try him as a Muggle."

"Sorrento?"

"Wizard jail here," Jonesy replied, grabbing hold of Chuckles by the arm. "I'll take this bloke back and then I'll probably drop into the hotel tonight for a meal. Carmel does the best Italian pizza on a Saturday night, so there should be plenty of people in. Besides, I assume you'll be leaving –"

"First thing in the morning," came Draco's voice from Harry's shoulder.

Harry and Jonesy smiled at each other, Harry surprised. He'd have thought Draco would be all for heading home right now. Perhaps he wanted a chance to get himself back under control beforehand. "I'll leave getting a statement from the both of you until tomorrow on your way through, then. You can enjoy the evening in peace."

"Thanks for everything, Jonesy. Next time I come to Australia, I'll be on holiday and might get a chance to actually see some of this country," Harry said.

"You can have that on your own," Draco said, voice still muffled from where he was snuggled against Harry's shoulder. "I don't know how you stand the heat and the dust and the spiders and snakes and –"

Harry and Jonesy laughed. "He's obviously recovering nicely," Jonesy said, giving Harry a wink as he Disapparated.

"Come on," Harry said. "Let's get you back to the hotel and you can have a nice long bath and relax."

"Only if you wash my back, Potter," Draco said, pulling back and giving Harry a smirk.

Harry rolled his eyes. "The things I have to do to see you naked, Princess…"

Draco whacked his arm. "Don't call me Princess, or I – actually…" He trailed off and Harry looked at him perplexed. A mischievous look came into Draco's eyes.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing."

"There is. Tell me!"

"I will if you wash my back."

"And we're back to me calling you Princess again." Harry laughed and Apparated them back into their room.

.o0o.

He rather thought that with all the excitement, using magic to run the bath, fill it full of sweet smelling bubbles and getting everything ready, was called for, and he was pleased that Draco seemed keen to stick to his side like glue. Draco was an excellent Auror generally, but today he'd had a close call, thousands of miles away from home and only Harry that was familiar. It was understandable that he be a little clingy. It was cute, really.

Draco undressed and climbed into the bath. Harry tried not to stare, but it was a useless attempt. Draco's body was luscious. As it disappeared under the bubbles, Harry let out a disappointed sigh.

"Why don't you climb in with me," Draco said.

"You want me to?"

"No, I said that just to laugh at you." Draco looked at him and crossed his eyes, playfully. He grinned. "You've already slept with me, you may as well bathe with me."

Harry didn't need to be asked twice. He stripped off and climbed into the bath settling himself down behind Draco, seeing as he was supposed to be washing Draco's back.

Instead, Draco leant back against Harry's chest. Surprised and more than pleased, Harry rested his chin on Draco's shoulder and slid his hands over Draco's where they were resting on his thighs.

Draco sighed, softly. "When I was a ferret, you smelled so good, I wanted to run up your leg and curl up in your pocket," Draco said dreamily.

"That was the first time I'd seen you in Animagus form," Harry replied, smiling against Draco's neck. "You're very cute and fluffy."

"Hey!" Draco protested half heartedly by moving his head away from Harry's lips. "I don't do fluffy and cute."

"All right, Princess." Harry laughed.

Draco sighed and relaxed again back against Harry's chest. "I'm not going to lose that nickname now, am I? You're going to use it all the time, even at the office and soon everyone will be calling me that."

He sounded troubled about it and Harry suddenly felt bad for it. "No, I won't tell anyone, I promise, it will just be between you and I." Harry placed a small kiss under Draco's ear, which earned him a small sigh of contentment.

"Thank you, Harry." The words were quiet, almost whispered. Harry wondered if this subdued Draco was all in response to the close call he'd had today or something else.

"Are you all right, Draco?" he asked.

Draco nodded. "Just very thankful to be here. I made a stupid mistake, Harry. I should never have gone with him without waiting for you. I know better than that."

"What did he say to you to make you go with him?"

Draco snorted. "He told me Carmel had been relating the tale of the coffee incident this morning and how he could show me what a root was and I could come back and gloat to you that I knew and you didn't." Draco's voice dropped again. "He knew me too well. Maybe that should have been a clue that not all was as it seemed."

"He planned this all out, Draco," Harry replied, rubbing Draco's arms with his hands. "One way or the other he was going to get you out to his property on your own. You've done nothing to berate yourself over."

"While I was tied up out there, all I could think about was how much I wanted you to come and save me. Can you imagine how mortifying that was? I just felt so lost in this huge country all by myself and not in a situation where I could do anything and through all that, I _knew_ you would be all right; that you would find a way to save me. How do you do that? Just fit in wherever you go? You…command the place around you even while you blend in…I just…"

"Draco, you're getting yourself all worked up over nothing. I'm your partner; of course I would come and rescue you. We back each other up. You'd do the same for me. In fact, you did. When Chuckles was firing a curse at me you bumped him off line and saved me. Thank you for that."

Draco raised his hand to pat Harry's cheek. "You're welcome."

They sat there for a while not saying anything, Harry enjoying Draco nestling into him probably more than was good for him if his erection was anything to go by. He'd have liked to reach down and stroke himself, or, even better, for Draco to do it, but he was thankful that Draco wasn't sitting far enough back to be squirming against it. He didn't think his partner would appreciate his hard cock digging into his bum. Pity. He satisfied himself with leaving small kisses under Draco's ear and rubbing Draco's thighs with the palms of his hands.

"The hero always gets the girl, Harry," Draco whispered and stretched back against him languorously. "And if everyone insists that I am the Princess in this story then you'd better assume I'm the girl. And hurry up about it; your hands on my skin have made me ache for them on my cock."

Harry gasped as a roll of Draco's hips that pushed his beautiful looking erection clear of the water accompanied these words.

"I've been hard for you since the moment I got in the bath," Harry said as he growled and took hold of Draco's cock and began to stroke it.

"Yesss," Draco hissed, reaching behind him for Harry's cock and timing his strokes, albeit at an awkward angle, to Harry's.

"This will not be just a one-off, Draco, I don't do those."

"Whatever, Potter, just don't stop."

Harry stopped, hard though it was, because Draco's hand on his cock was the singular most delightfully fucking erotic thing he'd ever felt. Draco squawked.

"Potter? What the—"

"I meant it. I don't care how hard it's going to be dating and working together, I want to do this relationship thing properly."

"You idiot! How long have we been working together?" Draco was getting desperate and was squirming around trying to flex his hips to push his cock through Harry's hand.

"Three years," he replied, closing his eyes and trying frantically to keep his composure.

"Have you ever seen me with another man?"

"I don't know what you do with your personal life."

"You are completely daft, Potter. I was waiting for you."

"Fuck!"

"I'm not going to last that long. Now, _please_ make me come. I need to so much." Draco was virtually whimpering now and Harry felt a jolt of arousal flare as he bent his head to Draco's neck and bit down as he stroked Draco to completion. He followed not long after Draco and held on to him while he calmed his thumping heart.

Well, this was a surprise. A wonderful one, to be sure, but a surprise all the same. He'd been under the impression that whilst they were friends, Draco was too fastidious and thought himself too good for anyone, let alone a bespectacled, messy haired ex-hero.

Draco snuggled back into Harry's chest, resting his head on Harry's shoulder. "Warm the water, again, would you Harry? Seems like the least a boyfriend could do for the love of his life after he's just escaped certain death at the hands of a madman."

Harry laughed and picked up his wand, casting a heating charm over the water, so his Princess of a boyfriend didn't catch a chill.

Draco smiled smugly and kissed Harry's cheek. "I never did find out what a root was," Draco mused as they snuggled in the bath.

.o0o.

A couple of hours later saw Harry sitting in the rapidly filling bar nursing a drink and chatting to Jonesy. Chuckles had been turned over to the Muggle authorities via the Muggle/Wizard Liaison Office, where all the evidence would be adjusted to fit Muggle court requirements. The Ministry felt that as no wizards had been killed, it was more appropriate for Chuckles to be tried as a Muggle. He'd be surrounded by wizards in any case and held in quarters that were warded against Apparition.

It seemed clear that Carmel's pizza night was popular as, according to Jonesy, almost everyone in the district was in. Which meant that there were about forty people in the bar. Huge crowd, Harry grinned to himself. Draco would be along shortly, but he'd come up with a way to teach the jokers in the crowd a lesson for underestimating him and calling him Princess.

Arrangements had been made with Carmel, who was sworn to secrecy, and now, all Harry was waiting for was the minutes to pass until the agreed upon time arrived. Several of the regulars had asked where Draco was and Harry rolled his eyes and told them that he was having a lie down. That of course was the cue for the jokes about having a delicate princess for a partner. Harry ignored those and just smiled and nodded.

As he looked around he saw Rope and Stringy teaming up against Stan and a reluctant Jonesy, who they'd dragged off his stool a few seconds ago, in a game of darts. Jonesy was insisting that he knew nothing about getting the pointy things in the corkboard and then proceeded to score a bulls-eye every time. Harry felt the tingle of magic and guffawed at the looks of shock on the faces of the other players. Jonesy gave Harry a look and a wink which Harry returned and turned back to Cabbage who was sitting next to him and trying to tell Harry about the time he'd fallen off the back of his tractor and broken his leg.

"What happened then?" Harry asked.

"Well, stone the flaming crows, the tractor toddled off down the rest of the paddock right into the electric fence. Lucky the missus was out in the shed and heard the alarm go off or I'd have been stuck out there until--"

But whatever it was that he'd have been stuck out there until remained a mystery as Carmel called for quiet.

"Quiet, you pack of galahs," she yelled. When she had everyone's attention, she continued. "Now, as a special treat, though youse blokes don't deserve it…" There was jeers and heckles at that comment, but she waved them aside and kept going. "I've lined up some entertainment for you." Carmel turned around and flipped a switch that set some quite raunchy music playing through the room. Turning back to the crowd, she pointed to the door. "Put your hands together for Miss Behave."

All eyes were turned towards the door, which was flung open wide. Standing with his hands on his hips was Draco.

Dressed in a long black slinky evening gown, split up the sides to his hips, with strappy stiletto heels encrusted with sparkling rhinestones and elbow length black gloves. Draco had cast a depilatory charm on himself, which Harry was keen to feel the results of, and they'd taken ages fixing his hair and make up with Glamours so that if Harry hadn't known it was Draco, he'd have thought it was some gorgeous blonde woman.

From the appreciative wolf whistles and hoots coming from the crowd, he thought they'd done their job well. Harry smiled at Draco, who gave him a dark sultry look and sashayed into the room. Carmel tossed him a microphone and Draco began to huskily sing the words to 'Big Spender' as he swayed his hips and moved around the room, pulling on this man's hair, or chucking that one under the chin.

To a man, every single eye was held fast by the lithe, extremely feminine figure dancing seductively around the room. Draco – Miss Behave – snuggled up to Jonesy, who blushed and suffered the teasing from his mates over the attention before Draco moved on to the next one.

As the song played, repeated when needed, every single man had been cosseted or petted by Draco and they were all spellbound. Finally, Draco stood in front of Harry, swaying and pouting cherry red lips and almost whispering "…spend a little time with me…" Draco's hand slid along Harry's collar and Harry grinned and pulled him close, slipping his hands down to Draco's bum as he did so.

There was cheering all around them and Draco winked at Harry before sliding his arms up around Harry's neck and pulling him in for a deep kiss. Harry groaned before he realised he'd made a noise; but this was the first time they'd kissed properly and the sensation of Draco's lips on his own was too wonderful to not be acknowledged.

Over the rush of arousal in his ears, Harry could hear the murmurs of some of the blokes he knew, some surprised gasps and then it went deathly quiet as Draco's hips ground against Harry's and Harry groaned and reciprocated.

"You gunna root her, Harry?" Harry thought that might have been Stringy, but he was too caught up in the way Draco was moulded to his body to care.

"Yeah, gunna throw a leg over and get some action?"

"Better hope your better half doesn't find out you've been jumping the fence and rooting a bird." Now that one was Jonesy, and Harry pulled back and looked into Draco's eyes, understanding suddenly dawning on them both at the same time.

"So that's what root means," Harry exclaimed.

Draco laughed and ripped off his wig as he subtly removed the charms at the same time so it was more obvious who he was. The crowd howled with surprised laughter as Draco leered at them all.

He was bombarded with calls of "Wanker" and "Drongo," but they were all amused and, if Harry understood it correctly, a little impressed by Draco's guts. Harry knew he was. Jonesy whacked Draco's shoulder and Draco narrowed his eyes momentarily, before laughing smugly with him.

Harry slipped his arm behind Draco's legs and picked him up, grinning at the crowd as Draco's arms returned to around his neck.

"To answer all your questions, yes, I am going to take my blond princess back to our room and do just that."

The end.

Translations:

**Dunnidoon** and **Bandurah** are made up places. There is a place called **Thargomindah ** near the Queensland/New South Wales border.

**Poms** – British people – used as an affectionate nickname.

**Bushies** – Farmers who farm in the outback (bush)

**Yobbo** – idiot.

**The servo and the gen** – The service station (petrol/gas station) and the general store.

**Pull up a pew and blow the froth off a couple** – Pull up a seat and have a beer/drink.

**Drier than a dead dingo's donger**. – a donger is a dick…so if the dingo was dead it would be really dry, right? So dry thirsty.

**frock up** - wear a dress…Draco being already labeled Princess.

**like shags on rocks** – stuck out in the middle of nowhere.

**sheep short in the top paddock** – a bit slow, or has a screw loose.

**dag hanging off the back of a sheep's arse. **– combined lumps of dirt, fecal matter and wool hanging off the back of a sheep's bum.

**No need to get shirty with me. **– no need to get angry.

**seemed a bit toey** – seemed a bit on edge

**Fart arsing around **– hanging around doing nothing.

**dropped his guts** – farted.

**dunny budgies** – flies

**stone the flaming crows **– bloody hell.

**pack of galahs** - noisy people

**Drongo **– an idiot.


End file.
